Common App Essay
Draft 2 Outline
Thesis: How I overcame and struggled with my challenges from dysgraphia
- What it means and feels like to not be able to share your thought with others––and to not know why
- After I learned about what I had people still not understanding it
- The laptops introduced as many problems as it solved
- Mix with frustration
- Frustration led to the isolation
- Felt like I was different and that it made sense to be isolated
P3: ongoing struggle (frustration/isolation)
- Sub yelling, peers questioning, math homework
- 5th grade teacher / coach / math teacher
- Liberating to see someone in the same position understand it and embrace it
P5: overcoming/ how I changed
- Gaining self-confidence
- Coming to terms with dysgraphia
- Possibly resolve with this paragraph
The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
Explain how I grew through dealing with dysgraphia.
- Teachers and coaches normalizing it, helping
- Helped determine ways to handle it
Isolation, Embarrassment, Judgement
- Technology helped with embarrassment
- Isolation and embarrassment are different
- Elementary was frustration
- Middle school was embarrassment
- Teachers and peers wouldn’t understand and would judge effort or special privileges
- Some freshman classes only allowed taking notes on paper
- Misreading math work
- Too focused on technology improving your experience. It reads like an essay promoting the use of tablets and laptops in school.
- Lean into the personal aspects. How have you grown through this adversity?
- You talk mostly about how the challenge went away, not how it prompted you to grow.
- Who have you become, compared to who you were?
- To what do you attribute that growth?
- What parts of yourself are you focusing on improving now?
- How has your education influenced the way your see yourself and your place in the world?
- Comma after intro causes
- Add a comma when a conjunction joins two independent clauses
I was the only person in my classes who had to use a laptop to do assignments
, and I felt like people were always staring at me while I worked.
Word Choice / Style
- Cut adverbs, select more descriptive adjectives/verbs