End of Part 1 Review

Copy with comments

The One Thing

Mention the two paradigms explicitly: outside-in vs. inside-out.

This is a small thing and a simple fix, and I think it would help put a bow on Part 1.

Feedback

• High-level question: I find the phrase “consciousness pattern” confusing. I know you're saying that it's a pattern that governs your conscious experience (i.e., a "consciousness pattern"). But I always read this phrase wanting it to say "unconscious pattern," to reinforce the idea that we are all by default unaware of our patterns (even though they are still part of our consciousnesses).
• High-level question on “working with my response to life”: I know that to you this phrase has a very specific meaning, but I don't think your reader shares that understanding. To them, this phrase would be vague. Is there a reason not to replace this phrase with "repatterning" or "working with my patterns" to make it more clear what you're referring to? Or do you see the repatterining practice and "working with my response to life" as different things?
• Flip the order of this paragraph so that this is first. It's a great image. See my suggestion below.

Original

When witness consciousness became more accessible to me, it felt like everything slowed down. I could see how my reactivity occurred on a timeline that began in my inner space. Prior to a disturbance being expressed, there was usually a welling of thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations that started firing off inside. Because I had been emotionally numb and generally identified with all this before, there was very limited ability to witness it. I was like a stick of dynamite with a minuscule fuse. One minute I’d be fine and then boom, my calm state would blow up.

My Edit

Before, I identified with my thoughts, emotions, and sensations, and I was emotionally numb. I was like a stick of dynamite with a minuscule fuse. One minute I’d be fine and then boom! My calm state would blow up. My reactions were my entire experience, because I hadn’t yet accessed witness consciousness. But as witness consciousness became more accessible to me, everything seemed to slow down. I started to notice the welling of thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations that would precede the explosions. Being able to watch my interior space through expanded awareness was like seeing the fuse get lit, whereas before I only saw the bomb going off.

• This is a strong paragraph that will inspire your reader:

The tight feedback loop that came from witnessing my response to life turned every day into a mini -retreat. Instead of viewing life as a canvas that I needed to shape in order to feel good, I began to view its events as a teacher and source of information. All the experiences I once saw as inconveniences or irritations became opportunities that I now had a useful way of relating too. The only thing I needed to do was maintain an acute focus on my inner space while continuing to do everything I was already doing. Life itself had become the teacher.

• I love the tone of this paragraph. It's vulnerable and yet authoritative. I think this is a microcosm of your persona and a good example of why people will want to read your take on all of this. (This tone is emblematic of The Scout persona that we've talked about.)

What was this behavior really about? Protecting myself. Repatterning revealed to me that I was deeply afraid of feeling awkward. So any time there was potential awkwardness, I felt this pull to leave the conversation to avoid feeling it. This may seem like a normal or productive thing to do, but it’s not freedom.

• This is a fantastic paragraph. It's insightful, personal, and makes you relatable:

This transitional period lasted over a year and was emotionally excruciating. I went from feeling highly successful and well liked, to feeling misunderstood and alone. It felt like part of me was sprinting towards this whole new life, while another part desperately clung to fixtures from my past. Instead of embracing the new territory in front of me, I’d get down on myself for no longer enjoying familiar settings. Why can’t you just be normal?, I thought. Although I intellectually understood that “normal” was actually unnatural, I didn’t possess the level of self- love required to be fully authentic.